Blue Like Jazz (the movie)!

I am so excited that Blue Like Jazz (the movie) will finally be hitting theaters in April! I am so proud to be one of the movie's Kickstarter supporters and am thrilled to see a project I was honored to contribute to come to fruition.  The trailer was released last week and the film will be making it's official debut at SXSW...I can't wait to see the finished product!

Take a gander at the trailer ... Blue Like Jazz Trailer

Renewal of Efforts

Last week I posted this on Facebook:

"Figuring if I post this somewhere people will for sure read it, it will keep me more accountable...I am sincerely committed to be a more communicative friend...especially to those who live really far away! Always worth the time to sit down and write a letter or email..."

The conversations with myself have become a fairly common occurrence.  Those times when I run through all of the friends I've lost touch with over the years because of a failure to communicate, a failure to reach out and connect with the people who have impacted my life and in some way contributed to the person I am now.  It frustrates me that I've let so many people slip through the cracks of my life.

I know that there are people who come into our lives for short seasons.  I've met so many incredible people in the past 6 years and have learned so much from all of them.  In this world of social networking and constant contact, it sometimes seems as though I'm incredibly disconnected from some of the people who have mattered the most in my life.

How do you know when it's time to let someone go? When is it too late to reach out and reconnect?

It seems to me that it should never be too late.  Particularly in a world that enables us to see and talk to people on the other side of the world with the touch of a button.

People are important...and its not every day that someone comes along who makes a lasting impact...those who do are to be cherished...

It's time to listen to my own posting and stop waiting...time to write some letters!

Falling In...

Fall is my favorite season by far.  There's nothing quite like the magnificent colors and cooling temperatures that meander their way into our lives as we move closer to the end of the year.  Now that I live in the Northwest I am once again surrounded by trees that are displaying a color palette that never ceases to amaze and inspire me.  Every day when I step outside and look around and this city I still can't really believe I live in, I am struck by how complex this world is and how often I take for granted that complexity.  There are so many things about this place that, when I do stop to take them in, take my breath away.

On Saturday when I was driving out to the coast I had to remind myself more than once to focus on the road instead of how beautiful my surroundings were.  I would have been perfectly content to stop on the side of the road and spend my day listening to the wind rushing through the trees, but alas, I was on my way to meet my soon-to-be sister-in-law's mom and grandma so a day of forest sitting wasn't to be.  But what did await was just as beautiful as the trees.  The Oregon coast is one of the most visually striking places I've ever been.  The steep drop of the cliffs...the trees that thrive on their shelves...the waves crashing on the rocks...the sun setting in the distance creating a truly striking silhouette... I could keep going, but I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves...

Where do I start?

Well, I'm obviously failing at posting on this blog with any sort of regularity thus far...I don't have an excuse for it, I suppose it's just one more thing to add to the list of things I need to work on diligence wise.   But this I also refuse to let this blog be something I feel guilty about.  When I come to this page and start typing, I don't ever want to feel bad that it's been too long since the last time I wrote, I want to come here and feel freedom.  This is a place for me to record my thoughts and dreams without worrying about how often I write or how well-written the pieces might or might not be.  At this particular moment I will admit that I'm having trouble expressing what it is that's going on in my mind and heart, but suffice it to say it seems significant.  There's something going on...and my hope is that through writing some of this stuff down I'll be able to come to some sort of consensus and figure out, even if it comes in bits and pieces, what's happening to me.  It feels big and important and I'm both excited and terrified of what it is, but I'm determined to use this incredible space to figure it out...so bear with me, it's going to be an interesting ride...

Fresh Start

Well I'm here, sort of.  I'm in Oregon but won't actually be moving to Portland for 2 1/2 more weeks.  Part of me knows that I live in Oregon now, but part of me still feels like I'm just on vacation & in a few days I'll be going back to my life in San Diego.

But it's real, this is really happening.

I live in Oregon.

I am a graduate student.

I have my own apartment.

I am in a new city...where I know no one.

All of those statements can & have resulted in feelings of intense doubt and fear in the past.

But as I spend these next two weeks waiting for school to start and to move into my apartment, I am comforted in a sense of peace that truly surpasses my own understanding.  There is no earthly reason why I should not be stressed out of my mind right now, especially when considering my tendency to over-think everything and worry to the point of insomnia.

Yet I am not worried.  I know that I am where the Lord wants me to be.  In this time, I am supposed to be in this place...so now I can sit here and relax, turning away from the fear that has so easily consumed me in the past and relish the knowledge that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.

(As this adventure continues, I am determined to document it with a regularity that has been lacking in my previous flirtations with this blog...the intensely sentimental part of me really wants to be able to look back on this time & read what was going through my head as I built my new life in Portland)

It has been a LONG time...

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted something to be seen and (probably not) read across the blogosphere. Sitting here now, it almost seems like a lifetime ago that I was struggling to find focus in my last weeks as an undergraduate.

For the first 22 years of my life (well not counting the first few before I could read and talk) I was a student...and I loved that role, being in class, trying to absorb as much information as possible in the hope that it would lead me to an exciting career and life once the education phase of my life was finished. Now that I am not a student, I am realizing that all the stress and worry that came with being one was totally worth it because the chance to learn was more than worth the hardships. In fact, I really miss being in school. My job is a nice break from going to class and worrying about getting homework done, but I really miss the learning process. Sitting in class on the first day of the semester, excited to see the syllabus and get a feel for where the course will be going over the following weeks...tentatively starting conversations with fellow classmates about what other classes they're taking, how many credits, what they want to do with their degree...trying to organize all the work that will inevitably pile up in the last weeks of the term beforehand, never quite succeeding in getting all planned out...going to the bookstore to find new/used textbooks then flipping through them to see what lies ahead.

All of these details seem trivial when glanced at, but when viewed in hindsight, they are precious snippets of life as a student that I really do miss. The interaction with my peers, while awkward at times, is something that enriched my life and gave me something to think about long after class was over.

This sense of loss...the longing to be back in the classroom, is something I will be using to motivate me to work hard and do absolutely everything in my power to get back to school and continue on this wonderful road called education...

Focus

One thing that might be considered a characteristic of this blog is the irregularity of the posts. Especially in the last few months, my life has been incredibly hectic, reaching entirely new levels of busy. And yet, I am having a really hard time focusing. There are always many things I could be doing, but it seems that all I end up doing is surfing the internet or knitting. As the semester winds down and things get more and more crazy, my prayer is that the Lord will give me more focus than I've ever had in my life, because quite frankly I'm going to need all the help I can get!