To be or not to be...a grown up

"...we never lay hold of our nothingness before God, and consequently, we never enter into the deepest reality of our relationship with Him. But when we accept ownership of our powerlessness and helplessness, when we acknowledge that we are paupers at the door of God's mercy, then God can make something beautiful out of us." - Brennan Manning

Recently I have been reading an amazing book called "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning...the quote is from that book. While I haven't finished it yet, what I have read is an amazing exploration of grace and what it really means to accept God's grace in our lives and live completely consumed by it. I feel like in the weeks since the school year ended, God has been reminding me of how much love He has for me and just how small I really am. One of my greatest desires is to be completely humble at the throne of the King and to have Him use me to do His will. It is so easy to say something like that, and I guess the challenge that I'm being faced with is really living my life for my God and truly allowing His grace and redeeming love to surround me and carry me.

Its strange really, for the first time ever I really feel like I'm becoming a grown up, whatever that means. I guess its because I've been seeing how the Lord has been moving in my life and how I am maturing in my relationship with Him and beginning to see glimpses of what He might have for my future. Overall, I still have absolutely no idea what I'm going to be doing in the future, but I have been able to recognize for the first time in very specific ways how God is preparing me for something. I don't really know what that something is, but I do know that it is something great. He has put different people in my life and placed me in situations that are specifically preparing me for what is to come, and it has been so exciting to reflect on last year and see how purposeful everything was. All the joys and all the heartaches, it is all working to teach me more about just how powerful God is and just how much He longs for us to lean on Him in every situation so that we might see just how great He is and how much He loves us. I really am nothing and I have no ability to heal, but my Savior has all the power and really is mighty to save and to redeem even the bleakest of situations.

My prayer for the rest of this summer is that God would continue to lead me in the way He has for me...I know that there are things that will challenge me to the core to step out and take a leap of faith, and that God just wants me to follow Him with all my heart and give even the minute details of my live to Him in faith so that He can take me where He wants me. God is good and His grace is abundant!

Praise the Lord for He is faithful and just and He loves us despite knowing who we are